Nursery pics

Finley's first walk

Finny's first week at home!

Snoozin'

Our morning snuggle time!  One of the best times of day!!!

Loves to suck on her fingers!

Giving her famous "one-eyed Finny" look!  Not happy we are putting her in a cheese hat for our entertainment!

Meeting her new BF, Keegan and mama Jen! (Very blessed to have these guys in our life!)

Finley's rig. Due to her being breech her hip sockets need some help becoming stronger.  She will be wearing it for 6+ weeks. It doesn't bother her one bit and it's actually pretty cute... just makes for a pain changing diapers!  :)

Weird. She never sleeps!  hahaha

She actually loves her cars seat so far!  Trip home from hospital and trip to and from her first doctor appointment (which she did great at~ passed with flying colors!), she seemed very content while awake and obviously content while she slept!  I wonder if she will be like her mama and fall asleep whenever we get into the car!?!?

The birth story...

Well, I do not know where to begin as everything happened quick and unplanned, obviously!  Finley June was ready to join us out here and so she was born on July 22, 2011 instead of our planned c-section on August 3, 2011, which was already different than our original expected due date of August 8, 2011!

Thursday evening, July 21, I was having some cramping that morning, but it had gone away... then came back in the late afternoon.  By nighttime I was concerned as I had no idea what the cramping was.  It didn't feel like a contraction should, but I have had a history of not knowing when I am even contracting.  I was also having to pee every 5 minutes it felt like, way more than the usual!  I also felt some slight back aching.  Because our baby girl was breech, I did not want to take any chances or brush anything off as we did not have the choice of doing any home labor.  So I called the on call doctor through my doctor's office and ran the symptoms by her.  She told me it just sounded like my body was "getting ready" She suggested I take a warm shower, get some sleep, re-evaluate in the morning.

Friday morning, July 22, 2011.  I woke up with very little cramping which soon turned to none.  So Lee took me and Axl for a drive (as I needed to get out of the house.  Bed rest was getting very old!)  We were gone for a bit, and when we returned home, my cramping returned.  Nothing major and not painful at all!  I received a phone call from my doctor saying she got a message from the on call doc and wanted me to come in and see her~ as I have been 5+ cm dilated and on bed rest for awhile and she just wanted to make sure all was good.

 We arrived at my doctor, was hooked up to a machine and my dilation was checked. I was at 6+ cm dilated and having regular contractions!  Well, I did finally start feeling them and started noticing some discomfort!  She sent us over to PVH (Poudre Valley Hospital).  We actually thought we were going over there to be monitored again like the previous week! Boy, were we wrong!

After being put in a beautiful gown and hooked up to machines and IVs I started to realize that maybe we would be meeting our daughter today!  When the anesthesiologist entered the room to talk to us, we were informed we would be headed to the operating room in 45 minutes!!!  What?!?!?  So we made some calls, and my mom and dad came to the hospital.  My mom was to be my other support person in the operating room so Lee could be with baby after she was born.

I entered the  operating room... and lost it.  It is a scary place to me and I am also overcome with emotions, obviously!  I will be meeting my baby very soon!  I get the wonderful spinal shot... not (1) time but several, as he is having a hard time injecting due to my scared/stressed/anxious posture.  Well being stabbed several times in the lower back was not helpful in my scared and nervous state!  After that was finally figured out, I was layed down and we waited for my lower 3/4 to go numb.  Eventually my mom and Lee were allowed in and we all thought it was to begin.  The only problem was I could feel way more than expected.  I will not even get into details... It was so scary for me and after many long minutes of waiting and tugging and trying, the anesthesiologist and the doctor decided it was no longer safe for me and baby as I was freaking out and could still feel things way more than normal.  So Lee and my mom was whisked out and the last thing I remember is a mask coming over my face.  I was out.

And then I was awake.  Barely.  I was in a recovery room and within minutes Lee and Finley came wheeling in!  It was such a magical moment (even through the cloudiness of my drugs).  She was real!  And in my arms!  It was beyond words.  I breastfed her immediately and she latched on and fed like a champ!  It was way cool!

We were wheeled to our room that we would spend the next few days in.  There are many amazing moments that happened here in this room!  Just staring at our precious babe and trying to take it all in!  She ate well, slept well and was beautiful!

We had some visitors over these next few days (my mom & dad, the Berkens, Nate & Shelly...) but really it was all about us 3.  A new family.  A new chapter in our life.  An amazing accomplishment!

It is hard sometimes realizing Finley's birth is the total opposite from what I imagined.  That it went from vaginal to planned csection to unplanned csection to not even being awake...   but I need to remind myself that this is not the most important part.  The most important thing to me and Lee was the health of our daughter, Finley June Berken.  And she is perfect!

I realized there are 2 kinds of intense love out there.  The kind you find when you find your soulmate.  Someone that was walking on this earth already and you find each other.  And then the kind where you create someone new to roam this earth and realize he or she depends on you for everything.  This kind of love is unexplainable and one of the most intense things I have ever felt!  We are madly in love with our daughter and I feel so blessed to have the husband & daddy I do, and the baby girl that I do.

I am happy~ so very, very happy!  xoxoxoxo

Finley June Berken ~ "First Family Photo"

Finley June, born July 22, 2011 @ 5:47pm. 7lbs, 20 in.

Ways to get things done while on bed rest...

I had two doctor appts. today.  The first was with my regular doctor, who informed me I was going to stay on bed rest until my next appt. with her, which is next Wednesday... 7 more days!!!  She decided not to recheck my dilation as to not encourage any contractions.  The baby's heartbeat sounded great, I measured great... all was good!  I have had no contractions since Sunday, so our goal is to continue to let her grow and develop... keep her in there until August 3rd!!!  So I will be on the couch for awhile... 

My second doctor appt. was with the doctor who will be preforming the c-section.  Filled out paperwork and just went over what it all entails...

On the way home from these doctor appts. we decided to make a quick stop to purchase some baby goodies... Well I knew I shouldn't be walking all over the place so....

ice cream addiction...

I think I seriously have a problem...

37 weeks...

(Can you tell I'm on bed/couch rest?!  I'm updating every 5 minutes! ha!)

 Well, today I laid on the couch, wrote all of my thank you cards already, read 2 mags, updated blogs and facebook, read emails, sat outside by a baby pool with Jen & Keegan (I got permission to sit outside for a bit from the Doctor, so settle down...)  I have some baby art projects planned for tomorrow.  It is very hard for me to sit still!  I want to work in the baby's room soooooo badly!  But I have to remind myself and keep being reminded to stay put!  It is all for my precious prize marinating in my belly, so I know it is worth it, but I am not going to lie.... it is so hard!!!!  Thank goodness for all of my friends and family who have been calling, texting, bringing me magazines....

It is high 90's here and boy does it feel it!  I am a sweaty beast! Just roll me over to my other side every once and awhile!  hahaha

37 weeks and hoping to make it a few more.... we will see!  :)

Colorado Baby Shower!

Bacon themed table including a bacon bouquet!

Hostesses with the mostesses (missing: Gma Kacz & Jenny from the block (not J-Lo))

I sure lucked out with the A-Team on this one!!!

Homemade tie-dyes for our hippie love child?!?!

One word~ YUM.

Pics of Lee and I as kiddos!

Birthday cards for every year!  Advice from our friends and family for each of her birthdays!

Homemade booties!  i think she has 20+ pairs of shoes as of now... geez!

Book ends!  Hoot Hoot

Dressing up the disgusto belly button for the special occasion!  (Thanks to Graham and Brook!  The sweet treats you can find in Alaska!)

Crazy & unexpected day!

We went in for our 10:30 appointment this morning to try a version... and just left the hospital at 4:30pm!!! 6 fun filled hours!  The version did not work, so our babe is hanging out in breech position still.  It was a very uncomfortable experience for me.  The drugs they gave me made my heart race and my entire body tremble, so it was very tough to focus on my breathing and relax so the doctor could move things around in my uterus.  I was able to relax and the doctor gave it two tries.  A forward somersault and a backwards one... babe wasn't having it. She wouldn't continue either somersault in order to be head down.  Lee said the force and movement the doctor was using was intense to watch.  I didn't watch... I trembled, cried a bit and really just focused on my breathing!  My actual doctor happened to be on call this weekend at the hospital so she joined the OB doc in the process and it was so helpful for me as far as relaxing and feeling safe!  After I was given the news of the unsuccessful attempts, I pretty much spent a bit mourning the fact that I will not be able to deliver how I had hoped and imagined.  I am now faced with the reality of a planned c-section.  August 3rd.  IF, the baby waits that long~ which leads me to why we were in the hospital so long...  I was being monitored, along with the baby, from the very beginning and was told (before the version, even) that I was having regular contractions.  Well, I was not feeling any of them and after the procedure when I was checked for dilation, we were informed I was 5 cm!  So the doctors decided I needed to stay and be monitored.  I was having contractions and I had dilated 2 more cm since Friday!!!  So, for 2 hours we hung out.  Thank goodness the Brewers/Rockies game and the World Cup were on!  We had something else to focus on other than the "wait".... During this time, my contractions became a bit stronger and I started feeling them!  It was a bit intense and overwhelming for a bit there.  We really thought we were going to meet our daughter way sooner than thought!  The doctor came back after the 2 hours and rechecked my dilation, and there was no change but the fact that I was still contracting and now feeling them quite a bit, led her to the decision to have us monitored for another 2 hours!  During these 2 hours the contractions slowed way down and by the time I was re-checked my doctor felt it was okay to send us home.  Strict instructions... bed rest.  I can move around to use the restroom, even sit outside for awhile if I want, but absolutely no dog walks, cleaning around the house, running any errands, etc... It is important we let this baby stay put as long as possible!  Tomorrow is my 37th week mark, which is huge for lung development and the next milestone would be the ease of breast feeding, so we really want her to stay put!  We have a check up appointment on Wednesday to see where things are at!  I have permission from the doc to also try acupuncture on that Wednesday I am already out and about for her appointment, in hopes of maybe one last effort at getting her to turn!  I know the chances are slim and I really need to work on accepting the fact we will be getting a c-section, but I want to try everything in my power first!!!  The best news of the day... my baby 's heartbeat and health are PERFECT!  That is by far the most important thing!

3+ cm. dilated and breech!

Had a doctor appointment today~ she was surprised (as were we) to find out I am already 3+ centimeters dilated!  She wants us to get into the 37th week (next week) at least, so I am on "couch rest"....  She was also unable to feel 100% if baby girl was head down, so we were sent to get an ultrasound.  Unfortunetly, she is breech position and my fluids are a bit low.  So my strict instructions for the weekend are as follows: lay down, feet up, flood myself with fluids.  We have an appointment on Sunday to try a version. (manual movement of babe)  This does NOT sound fun to me at all, but it is one thing I can try in hopes of getting her head down so I can possibly avoid a C-section.  I ideally do not want a C-section, so I am willing to try anything!  It was also suggested to me to get on all fours and crawl around a bit to encourage her to move, have music playing by my pelvic bone to maybe encourage her to go to the music...   The doctor is allowing me to attend my baby shower tomorrow... thank goodness, but it was not without hesitation!  This is all very overwhelming and very emotional for me, but I know the baby's health and mine are top priority... it's not "how" I deliver.  So,  I will keep my fingers crossed, say some prayers and hope for my little peanut to get head down!!!  I will keep this blog updated as things happen!

36 weeks...

4 weeks left?!?!  At this point she could decide to come whenever her little heart desires...  THAT is exciting and crazy!  My sleep is very uncomfortable, my feet are starting to swell with the heat and I am pretty much always hot, hot, hot!  Lee loves my fans all over the house... ha!  We took a tour of the labor & delivery floor at the hospital last weekend and that sure made it real!  Just knowing this could happen today, tomorrow, in a few weeks (ideally)... keeps me a bit anxious at all times!  We finished her nursery for the most part and I will post pictures soon....

I can not wait to meet my daughter!!!!  I can not believe it is almost here... It brings tears to my eyes just writing that!  I am so in love already and I haven't even met her!  xoxoxoxo

(My ice cream habits will have to change dramatically once she is born!  Yikes!)

35 weeks...

Happy 4th of July!

5 more weeks?!?!?!?!?!?!  

We put together the nursery this past weekend!  A lot of nuts & bolts and maybe a stressed out moment or two when we had to take apart something and re-do it!  hahaha  But it looks so beautiful!  We have lots of decorating and little details to finish but the furniture is all done!  Makes it pretty real!  We will have a little peanut sleeping in that crib and being changed on that changing table!  All the little outfits I washed and folded (and refolded) and put in the drawers... I have been nesting, for sure!  I think even Lee has been doing a bit of his own nesting.  :)  This week is our last birthing class until all the babies are born and then we will re-meet for a few classes.  And we have our Colorado baby shower on the 16th....     This is such an exciting time for us and I really can't believe in a few short weeks I will not be prego anymore, but holding our daughter...