The birth story...

Well, I do not know where to begin as everything happened quick and unplanned, obviously!  Finley June was ready to join us out here and so she was born on July 22, 2011 instead of our planned c-section on August 3, 2011, which was already different than our original expected due date of August 8, 2011!

Thursday evening, July 21, I was having some cramping that morning, but it had gone away... then came back in the late afternoon.  By nighttime I was concerned as I had no idea what the cramping was.  It didn't feel like a contraction should, but I have had a history of not knowing when I am even contracting.  I was also having to pee every 5 minutes it felt like, way more than the usual!  I also felt some slight back aching.  Because our baby girl was breech, I did not want to take any chances or brush anything off as we did not have the choice of doing any home labor.  So I called the on call doctor through my doctor's office and ran the symptoms by her.  She told me it just sounded like my body was "getting ready" She suggested I take a warm shower, get some sleep, re-evaluate in the morning.

Friday morning, July 22, 2011.  I woke up with very little cramping which soon turned to none.  So Lee took me and Axl for a drive (as I needed to get out of the house.  Bed rest was getting very old!)  We were gone for a bit, and when we returned home, my cramping returned.  Nothing major and not painful at all!  I received a phone call from my doctor saying she got a message from the on call doc and wanted me to come in and see her~ as I have been 5+ cm dilated and on bed rest for awhile and she just wanted to make sure all was good.

 We arrived at my doctor, was hooked up to a machine and my dilation was checked. I was at 6+ cm dilated and having regular contractions!  Well, I did finally start feeling them and started noticing some discomfort!  She sent us over to PVH (Poudre Valley Hospital).  We actually thought we were going over there to be monitored again like the previous week! Boy, were we wrong!

After being put in a beautiful gown and hooked up to machines and IVs I started to realize that maybe we would be meeting our daughter today!  When the anesthesiologist entered the room to talk to us, we were informed we would be headed to the operating room in 45 minutes!!!  What?!?!?  So we made some calls, and my mom and dad came to the hospital.  My mom was to be my other support person in the operating room so Lee could be with baby after she was born.

I entered the  operating room... and lost it.  It is a scary place to me and I am also overcome with emotions, obviously!  I will be meeting my baby very soon!  I get the wonderful spinal shot... not (1) time but several, as he is having a hard time injecting due to my scared/stressed/anxious posture.  Well being stabbed several times in the lower back was not helpful in my scared and nervous state!  After that was finally figured out, I was layed down and we waited for my lower 3/4 to go numb.  Eventually my mom and Lee were allowed in and we all thought it was to begin.  The only problem was I could feel way more than expected.  I will not even get into details... It was so scary for me and after many long minutes of waiting and tugging and trying, the anesthesiologist and the doctor decided it was no longer safe for me and baby as I was freaking out and could still feel things way more than normal.  So Lee and my mom was whisked out and the last thing I remember is a mask coming over my face.  I was out.

And then I was awake.  Barely.  I was in a recovery room and within minutes Lee and Finley came wheeling in!  It was such a magical moment (even through the cloudiness of my drugs).  She was real!  And in my arms!  It was beyond words.  I breastfed her immediately and she latched on and fed like a champ!  It was way cool!

We were wheeled to our room that we would spend the next few days in.  There are many amazing moments that happened here in this room!  Just staring at our precious babe and trying to take it all in!  She ate well, slept well and was beautiful!

We had some visitors over these next few days (my mom & dad, the Berkens, Nate & Shelly...) but really it was all about us 3.  A new family.  A new chapter in our life.  An amazing accomplishment!

It is hard sometimes realizing Finley's birth is the total opposite from what I imagined.  That it went from vaginal to planned csection to unplanned csection to not even being awake...   but I need to remind myself that this is not the most important part.  The most important thing to me and Lee was the health of our daughter, Finley June Berken.  And she is perfect!

I realized there are 2 kinds of intense love out there.  The kind you find when you find your soulmate.  Someone that was walking on this earth already and you find each other.  And then the kind where you create someone new to roam this earth and realize he or she depends on you for everything.  This kind of love is unexplainable and one of the most intense things I have ever felt!  We are madly in love with our daughter and I feel so blessed to have the husband & daddy I do, and the baby girl that I do.

I am happy~ so very, very happy!  xoxoxoxo